Where Should I Spend My Money as a Single Mom?

This is one of the most common questions I hear from my clients. As a single mother, you’re not just managing your budget — you’re managing your home, your children’s schedules, and your work responsibilities all at once.

“She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.” Proverbs 31:27 (NIV)

Some days, it can feel like you’re barely keeping up. Other days, you might find your rhythm — but when it comes to managing your finances and deciding where to spend your hard-earned money, it can feel like an uphill battle.

Sometimes feelings of guilt or shame can easily throw us off track, but when you begin to follow these steps with intention, you can transform financial chaos into control — one decision at a time.

So, let’s take a deep breath and break it down into something simpler and more doable.

Step One: Give First, Even When It Feels Impossible

This might surprise you, but the very first step I recommend is to set aside what you plan to give before tackling the rest of your budget.

You might be thinking, “Why would I give to others when I barely have enough for my own expenses?” I understand — I’ve been there. But Scripture gives us a powerful reminder of how generosity works in God’s economy:

“Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.”  2 Corinthians 9:6–8 (NIV)

When we give — even from a place of scarcity — we’re planting seeds that lead to future abundance. If you can plan for 10% of your income for giving, but if you cannot afford that much, start smaller. It’s not about the amount; it’s about the heart behind the giving.

Even when it feels impossible, trust that what you give will come back multiplied in ways you can’t always see right away — through peace, provision, or unexpected blessings.

Step Two: Prioritize Your Housing Expenses First

As single mothers, there are certain essentials we must take care of to ensure stability for ourselves and our children. These are the non-negotiables — the things that keep life functioning and secure.

Let’s start with the most important one: housing.

If you and your children don’t have a safe place to live, everything else becomes harder to manage. A stable home provides more than just shelter — it brings comfort, consistency, and a sense of belonging. It’s where your children feel safe, and where you can rest, regroup, and rebuild.

Your housing expenses should always come first, and they account on average for 25-30% of your budget, whether that’s rent, a mortgage, or contributing to a household where someone has graciously opened their doors to you.

And remember this truth: if you are being blessed by the generosity of others helping you with housing, look for ways — big or small — to bless others in return. Gratitude and generosity keep the flow of abundance moving in your life.

Step Three: Prioritize Food to Nourish Yourself and Your Children

Another non-negotiable is food which accounts for about 10-15% of your budget. We all know we can’t sustain ourselves without it. Our children need nourishing meals for energy, growth, and healthy development — and as mothers, we need the strength that comes from taking care of our own bodies, too.

Take a look at your recent grocery receipts to get a realistic idea of what you typically spend each month. Use that number as a baseline for your food budget. This helps you plan with intention instead of guessing or overspending.

To keep food costs manageable, pay attention to micro-spending — those small, frequent purchases that quietly drain your budget. Eating out, drive-thru meals, and delivery services may feel convenient, but those extra fees add up quickly. Cooking at home, planning meals, and making simple swaps can stretch your dollars much further while still providing healthy, satisfying meals for you and your family.

Step Four: Prioritize Your Transportation

The next essential area to prioritize is your transportation which is about 10-15% of your budget. This includes your car payment, gasoline, insurance, and regular maintenance — all of which are crucial for keeping your life running smoothly.

Your vehicle is more than just a car; it’s your connection to stability. It allows you to get to work, take your children to school, attend appointments, and handle day-to-day responsibilities. Without reliable transportation, everything else becomes more difficult and stressful.

Take time to understand what your monthly transportation costs truly look like. Plan for them intentionally — not just the predictable ones, like gas and payments, but also the occasional repairs or maintenance that tend to surprise us.

If possible, set aside a small savings fund specifically for transportation-related expenses. Even a little cushion can make a big difference when unexpected costs arise, helping you stay on track without derailing your entire budget.

Step Five: Prioritize Your Essential Utilities

The final area to prioritize in your budget is your essential living expenses — the things that keep your home running safely and comfortably.

Your utilities should account for about 10-15% of your budget and includes electricity, water, gas for heating, and your phone or cell service, which are vital for communication and emergencies. These are the true necessities that support daily life for you and your children.

However, not everything we pay for monthly falls into this category. TV subscriptions, music apps, and streaming or entertainment services are nice to have, but they aren’t essentials. When money is tight, those can wait.

Remember, your goal is to focus on what sustains life and safety — keeping the lights on, the water running, and your home warm and secure. Once those needs are covered, you can gradually add other comforts back in as your financial situation strengthens.

The Rest of Your Money

Now that you’ve covered your giving and your essential living expenses, it’s time to focus on two key areas that will shape your financial future: debt and savings. You should can allocate between 10-15% of your budget to these two areas unless your debt requires especial strategies to repay faster.

Paying off debt is an important part of building financial freedom. Be intentional about setting aside a portion of your budget to make consistent payments as agreed. Whenever possible, work to minimize your debt — and if you’re already feeling overwhelmed, don’t lose hope. You can create a realistic repayment plan using proven strategies that help you pay down debt efficiently and regain control.

The next step is to prioritize savings — both short-term and long-term.

Short-term savings help cover small, unexpected expenses like car repairs or appliance replacements.

Long-term savings prepare you for bigger life changes, such as job loss, medical emergencies, or other critical situations.

Even small amounts set aside consistently can make a big difference over time.

Remember, wise planning brings peace and stability. When you give your money a purpose each month, you move from financial chaos to confident control — one intentional decision at a time.

“Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it?”  Luke 14:28 (NIV)